Surrender

I gave in.
I gave in to the pain.
I gave in to you.

I needed to.
I needed to let go.
To stop being in control.
To stop holding me back.

To release the reins of myself.
And to see for once who I really am.

That person, who I didn’t want to see.
That person, who I didn’t want to acknowledge.
That person, struggling to surface;
to be seen;
to be accepted.

Will I be able to cope?
To put the pieces back together?
Or to validate the state I am in?

To forgive myself?
To put my hand on my back and to support myself?
To lull myself to sleep?
To give me peace?
To let the real me wake up?

Maybe I will.
But at least,
I’ll try,
for me.

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